The [Cock] Blockers movie starring Leslie Mann (wife of Judd Apatow and one hell of a comedic actress), 16 time WWE champion John Cena, and Ike Barinholtz [a taller and goofier doppelganger of Mark Wahlberg], is the best comedy movie since MacGruber. Yes, snicker, doodle, giggle, flatulate, scoff, pan, hate with Hatorade, I said since MacGruber. I have a delayed and totally unnecessary confession to make. I was the bane of my then fiancée’s existence at the critics’ screening of MacGruber. Yes, this review is about the Blockers movie, but allow me to unveil the story my dear captive audience. When the other dozen or so critics and 100 or so welcomed free-ticket munchers at Muvico Palace sat in silence and sheer disgust over MacGruber, yours truly laughed so loudly that he was condemned and nearly shown the exit. I had to remind my colleagues and the personnel on hand that MacGruber is a COMEDY movie. The purpose of a comedy movie is to LAUGH. In my defense, at least someone enjoyed the movie. Gee whiz people, if you don’t think Will Forte and Kristen Wiig are comedy dynamite when properly paired, you may need to reconsider your values! Back to the show at hand, Blockers.
The Blockers movie is as billed, a movie about three parents that once bonded when dropping their children off at school for the first time. One cheered, one cried, and one experienced a partial and nauseating (not commentary, I mean their actual inner feeling of queasiness and turmoil) early empty-nest syndrome. Fast-forward to twelve or so years later and senior prom. The young ladies’ instant messenger conversation regarding losing their virginity on prom night is revealed to their snooping parents and the game of drones is afoot!
Cock Blockers Movie!?
Let’s take each actor’s performance in the Blockers movie as a separate entity and then as an entirety. First, Leslie Mann portrays an empty-nester mom on the verge of losing the only real family she has to a school located ten states away geographically. She is whiney-voiced (as always), paranoid about her daughter being de-virginized, and is willing to stalk and harass her to prevent the deed from being transferred, as it were. Mann is almost too extreme in her overprotectiveness to believe, and she is a funny caricature. John Cena is the hulking dad that cries over nearly everything. This ultra-empathic attitude prevents his lesbian daughter from sharing her sexuality with her dad. He is too overbearing and mawkish to have a real conversation. And yet, he is clumsy, endearing, and his size belies his sentimentality to make a hilarious daddy. Ike Berinholtz looks like Willy Wonka enlarged Mark Wahlberg, and in the process engendered him with a goofy smile. He plays it cool but seethes inside. His paternal instincts, though delayed, are in full effect just in time to team with the two other psychopathic parents hellbent on preserving virginality.
Together, the three actors are quite entertaining. Blockers movie, which as aforementioned is really in a non-PC world, Cock Blockers, is a movie that does not pretend to be anything other than a comedy movie. It leaves the PC speech police and political overtones in adjacent theaters, and concentrates on what it is, a whirlwind of laughter. If you love to bellow out laughter, and are not afraid of a little crude humor, enjoy the raucousness. The Blockers movie is fun.